Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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