he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
