god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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