Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
