U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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