Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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