Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
