I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
