Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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