3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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