i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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