i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
