porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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