the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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