I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You made out with two different species that night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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