the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you never un-have a 4some
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
