so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
