all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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