Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
