eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
