Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.