anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.