I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
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Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
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All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.