Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word. http://tfl.nu/lmgd
  Replies (20) Good night (5929) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (753): View more from

  He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (753): He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means. http://tfl.nu/ooa4
  Replies (4) Good night (1862) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  You can't call dibs 8 years later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): You can't call dibs 8 years later. http://tfl.nu/gnnz
  Replies (7) Good night (2526) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman? http://tfl.nu/8vyd
  Replies (6) Good night (2010) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/sfkv
  Replies (7) Good night (1011) Bad night (1805)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win? http://tfl.nu/uubh
  Replies (11) Good night (2361) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve. http://tfl.nu/bmil
  Replies (3) Good night (1461) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party http://tfl.nu/i9gg
  Replies (4) Good night (1568) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens http://tfl.nu/y87y
  Replies (5) Good night (958) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented http://tfl.nu/cc07
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here". http://tfl.nu/5x82
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now? http://tfl.nu/dq80
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade. http://tfl.nu/7c7r
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser http://tfl.nu/wyzy
  Replies (5) Good night (296) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/rx78
  Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (162)

Randomize