Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life

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(636): Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life http://tfl.nu/x73d

Replies (45) Good night (8471) Bad night (684)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions

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(262): i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions http://tfl.nu/1ufy

Replies (33) Good night (4277) Bad night (812)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.

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(603): i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm. http://tfl.nu/ifvp

Replies (121) Good night (776) Bad night (4618)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut

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(507): there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/7k06

Replies (40) Good night (5772) Bad night (869)
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(251): View more from Alabama

As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.

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(251): As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/zyub

Replies (33) Good night (10373) Bad night (1277)
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(303): View more from Colorado

so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...

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(303): so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob... http://tfl.nu/tixa

Replies (34) Good night (5228) Bad night (2108)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now

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(519): You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now http://tfl.nu/uorn

Replies (9) Good night (993) Bad night (3566)
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(315): View more from New York

JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...

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(315): JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room... http://tfl.nu/oonq

Replies (5) Good night (3695) Bad night (728)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.

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(724): I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way. http://tfl.nu/vhtx

Replies (12) Good night (2092) Bad night (1256)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.

(910): View more from North Carolina

im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325

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(910): Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly. (910): im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325 http://tfl.nu/vc15

Replies (26) Good night (796) Bad night (2300)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.

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(440): I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me. http://tfl.nu/i18g

Replies (8) Good night (339) Bad night (906)
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...

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(512): I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to... http://tfl.nu/6eke

Replies (13) Good night (524) Bad night (1791)
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(714): View more from California

I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.

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(714): I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle. http://tfl.nu/7gdx

Replies (10) Good night (413) Bad night (914)
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(716): View more from New York

he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."

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(716): he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...." http://tfl.nu/2b45

Replies (5) Good night (644) Bad night (1826)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?

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(330): Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship? http://tfl.nu/gnhb

Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (228)

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