Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..

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  (413): Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative.. http://tfl.nu/iby4
  Replies (10) Good night (960) Bad night (1824)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.

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  (814): Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside. http://tfl.nu/psku
  Replies (10) Good night (1385) Bad night (3722)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.

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  (720): Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it. http://tfl.nu/chvq
  Replies (7) Good night (6216) Bad night (927)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.

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  (61): Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above. http://tfl.nu/o1v2
  Replies (5) Good night (890) Bad night (2305)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".

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  (306): you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue". http://tfl.nu/bqgp
  Replies (6) Good night (2594) Bad night (814)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.

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  (513): Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night. http://tfl.nu/vga8
  Replies (8) Good night (2336) Bad night (673)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.

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  (908): There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great. http://tfl.nu/ao5x
  Replies (3) Good night (1317) Bad night (472)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna

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  (651): drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna http://tfl.nu/yd45
  Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (1663)
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  (707): View more from California

  because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.

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  (707): because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie. http://tfl.nu/erv7
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (440)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.

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  (303): I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION. http://tfl.nu/audf
  Replies (3) Good night (1440) Bad night (481)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.

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  (412): Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time. http://tfl.nu/jc31
  Replies (1) Good night (1063) Bad night (336)
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  (714): View more from California

  She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick

  (1-714): View more from California

  Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!

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  (714): She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick (1-714): Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/q4sd
  Replies (3) Good night (1553) Bad night (403)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...

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  (646): He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand... http://tfl.nu/h56p
  Replies (8) Good night (300) Bad night (743)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.

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  (860): I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were. http://tfl.nu/p58y
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (355)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon

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  (919): It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon http://tfl.nu/hhjh
  Replies (0) Good night (301) Bad night (601)

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