Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants