I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize