U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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