i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
