Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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