What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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