it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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