I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
