I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
