I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
