sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my phone needs a breathalizer
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
