Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
