i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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