how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
