Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Non-Jews are for practice
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize