So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
