Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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