Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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