I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize