then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
