If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
