accomplished twins. life is a go
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
