Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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