and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
