you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
