so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
