im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
