butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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