So drunk its hurt
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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