i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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