Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
smell my finger.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
