So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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