i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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