have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
