I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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