dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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