Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
