i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
